Payback Read online

  I wake up early on this rather cool May morning with a pain I’ve never felt before. I reach over, but his side of the bed is cold, so I drive myself to the hospital. His phone is going straight to voicemail and he isn't answering my texts. Frustrated and alone, I call his office and am told he hasn't been in for the past two days. The pain of labor preoccupies me, and Maia has come to stay with me. After eight intense hours of tears and pain, I’m staring into the face of my perfect baby girl.

  “What are you going to name her?” the midwife asks while checking her vitals.

  “Ella Paige,” I reply through the tears of joy that are now falling.

  “Six pounds on the nose,” she says while swaddling my little Ella in a blanket. She hands her to me and my heart falls in love all over again. “We have to take her to give her a bath, but I promise she'll be back in no time.” I nod and close my eyes in exhaustion.

  The door is flung open, revealing a disheveled Ty. “Hey baby, have you had the baby yet?”

  “Yes,” I hiss at him, biting my tongue so I don't cause a scene.

  “Still a girl,” he asks, mirroring my hiss.

  “Yes.”

  I'm looking at him with disgust as the nurse and Maia wheel Ella back in. Baby girl Garrett, my last name, is written on the pink cardstock, with her little footprints below. Ty’s eyes grow wide when he sees her bright brown eyes and the long, dark fringe of lashes she has. “Olivia. We can name her Olivia. After my mother,” he says.

  “She already has a name,” I scoff.

  “You mean you named her without asking me?” His face is already growing red to match his bloodshot eyes.

  “I've been here for almost ten hours and spent two of those trying to find you, asshole. I'll name her what I damn well want to, seeing as up until now, you’ve greatly expressed your disappointment in the baby being a girl.” His face grows dark, and he takes a step towards me as I hold my Ella closer to me, fear evident in my expression.

  Maia comes in at that moment. “Cami, is there a problem?” I shake my head, never taking my eyes off Ty.

  “Well, can I at least hold her?” he asks. I nod hesitantly before handing her over. Maia hovers around him with a look of irritation on her face. His phone begins to ring, so he hands her back to me. “I gotta take this,” he says, turning to leave the room. Maia sits on the bed beside me.

  “You know you can be honest with me, right?”

  I look at her and sigh deeply. “Everything will be fine,” I reply, lying even to myself. Ella begins to wiggle and whimper in my arms, and I bring her forehead to my lips.

  “Sounds like somebody is hungry,” Maia says with a giggle. I smile and place the bottle that a nurse has made into her mouth, the cute little cooing sounds she makes melting all my troubles away. After she falls asleep, I hand her to Maia to go back to the nursery and close my eyes as exhaustion takes over.

  With the sun filtering through the blinds, I wake to find Ty passed out in a chair. I shake my head and call for the nurse to bring Ella to me. Ty begins to stir when the door creaks open.

  “Cam, I'm sorry for being such an ass,” he whispers, coming over to sit by me on the bed. I nod, unable to find the right words to say.

  “I love you, you know that, and I love Ella too. She’s absolutely beautiful, just like her mother.” I smile at his words; the word beautiful hasn't been used to describe me in months.

  Three years later

  8

  Jett

  I need to get out of the house, away from all the eyes surveying my every move. It’s been four years. I should know that they’d still treat me like an eighteen-year-old kid, but I’m not a child anymore.

  “I’m going out for a while. I need to clear my head,” I mumble to my mother as she sits at the kitchen table. My hand is on the doorknob when I think better of it. I walk back over to her and kiss her on the head. “I’m ok, I promise.”

  She pulls me down into a hug. “I know. I’m just so glad you’re home.”

  I'm sitting at the bar, drinking my beer, when I hear a familiar voice over the loud music blaring overhead. “Jett, is that you?”

  I turn around, and there's my old friend Shawn Wilson. “Yeah, man, it's me,” I reply.

  “How the hell are you?” he asks, holding his hand up for a fist bump.

  “I'm great, man.” I know it’s a lie. I am not great. Hell, I’m barely holding it together, but I don’t need some crazy small town gossip about it.

  “Did you just get back? I heard you did a full tour, that’s some crazy shit.”

  “Yeah, I’m readjusting, I guess.”

  “It's so good to see you, bro. It's been a long time,” he says, smacking me on the back.

  “Yes, it has. Grab a seat and have a beer with me,” I say, tipping my beer in his direction.

  “I'll have to take a rain check on that,” he replies. “I’m on my way to Sara’s.”

  “You son of a bitch, you're still with her?” I ask with a laugh.

  “Yeah, sure am. Well some days anyway,” he says with a wicked grin.

  “Well, I'm at the parents’ house for about another week, hit me up.”

  He pauses for a moment and sits down next to me. “I’ll do you one better.”

  He slides a business card out of his pocket and sets it on the bar. “You ever heard of these guys?”

  I read the card. ‘Brotherhood Bar and Billiards’ it says in dark blue writing.

  “No, new place in town?” I offer, hoping it’s better than the dingy bar I’m sitting in.

  “Memphis. And it’s not just a bar, if you know what I mean. It’s a true brotherhood, you know? A place to go when things get rough. Not to say we don’t rough some shit up too. You got your brother’s old bike laying around?”

  The Harley—damn thing was a classic. Of course my parents had kept it; it was worth something, not to mention Jackson would have died for that bike. “Sure. Why?”

  “You gotta ride to be asked in. Actually, that’s just the beginning of the list of things you gotta do. Joining takes time, hell, I’ve been doing it a year.”

  “Is there going to be hazing and some shit? I’ve done that enough.”

  “Ha,” he laughs. “It’s not like that. But you know, you gotta earn your spot to run with these guys.”

  “What’s this about? This sounds like y’all do some crazy illegal shit or something.”

  “Like what you saw over there was any worse? I’m just saying, man, these guys? They’ll get you. Think about it.”

  He gets up from the stool and I pull the card off the bar and slip it in my pocket. “I will,” I say as he heads towards the door.

  I smile and shake my head. I can’t believe he’s still with Sara and in some crazy motorcycle gang. The wild one has finally been tamed. Or at least caged. I finish my beer and glance at the clock. I pay my bill, and instead of heading back to my parents’, I grab a motel room. It's only about a quarter mile, so I figure I'll just walk and let the cool air sober me up a bit. Wouldn’t it be some shit for the rumor mill if the newly returned home vet got a DUI? I won’t give the town gossipers the satisfaction.

  The evening air is cool and crisp and sobers me up almost instantly. As I’m walking, I hear the roar of motorcycles. That damn card is burning a hole in my pocket. Part of me wants to call Shawn and see what he says about me prospecting, the other part of me just wants to get out of this tiny little town and move on with my life. I get to the motel and check in. The place is pretty shitty, only one of two places to stay around here. Just as I’m about to settle in, my mom’s face pops up on my phone, and I swipe right to answer it. I should have called. I forget there’s people here who want to know where I am. That I’m safe.

  Shit, I’m a terrible son.

  “Hey, son. I was just checking on you.” I walk through the door of my motel room and sit on the edge of the hard bed.

  “I’m good, Mom. I just walked through the door at the motel. I decided to get a roo
m in town tonight instead of driving back home.”

  “You’re turning in early, sweetheart,” she says incredulously. I snicker at the tone she’s using.

  “Mom, I’m not a teenager anymore. Besides, my body is still conditioned to sleep for short periods of time. When I’m tired now, I sleep. It’s simple,” I remind her.

  She clears her throat and then continues. “I'm so proud of you, son.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I reply, unsure of what else to say.

  “I love you, Jett. Goodnight.”

  I head across the room to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I hardly recognize myself. When did I become this person? With stubble on my cheeks and circles under my eyes. Hell. That’s where it happened, even if I’m not sure when.

  I walk back into the bedroom and sit down on the squeaky bed. Pulling the card from my pocket, I dial the number on the thick paper.

  A gruff voice answers. It’s loud in the background, and I can barely hear him. “Hello?”

  “Wilson? It’s Stewart.”

  “Oh hey, man, what the hell is up?”

  “I’ve been giving some thought to your offer.” I need purpose in my life. Something to do besides get drunk and sit at some crummy ass hotel.

  “Yeah, and?”

  “I want in. I want to prospect, or whatever you called it.”

  “Come by the club tomorrow, man, we’ll talk it over with the members. But for now, there’s some pretty little ass at the bar I’ve got to take back to my room. You just wait, the women here are going to think you’re a god.”

  That sounds good. I could use a little ass in my life. “Ok brother, I’ll see you then.”

  I shut off my phone and lean back on the bed. I need sleep. I would get up early in the morning and grab my brother’s bike. Lucy hasn’t seen any use since he left for Afghanistan. It’s time for her engine to roar once again. I’m ready. This is the right call.

  9

  Cami

  Everything has been absolutely perfect since Ty quit drinking. We’re raising Ella together and he’s acting like a father. We’ve been going out and doing things together, and he hasn't had any strange late night phone calls. He’s actually dating me, telling me how beautiful I am, and how much he cares about our family. He’s going to work and staying focused. Of course, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m not an idiot. I know this isn’t going to last forever.

  The ringing doorbell draws me back from where my mind has taken me. Opening it, I am surprised to see my cousin Julie standing on the doorstep. I haven’t seen her in almost a year and now she pops in out of the blue?

  “Cami, oh my God, you’re looking so good!” she says, pulling me into her embrace.

  “You look great too, Jules,” I reply as I pull away. Sure she looks great, she always does. But what the hell is she doing here?

  Standing there with her sends a twinge of jealousy through me. Her blue eyes sparkle in the light, even under the cover of clouds, and her clear, tan skin is just unbelievable. My aunt did a good job finding her dad, who was some Italian hunk. She won in the gene pool; between my aunt and the Italian sex god, they created one hell of a knock out.

  “I should have known you’d be in a dress,” I mutter under my breath. She hears me and shakes her head at me with a smirk, causing her dark hair to blow in the cool breeze. Julie has always been pretty, but damn has she bloomed into a voluptuous beauty.

  “It sure is cold down here. I thought Tennessee was supposed to be sunny and hot.” She wraps her sweater around her.

  “It’s only January, so it’ll start warming up soon,” I reply, leading her into the house. I shut the door behind her before starting my questions. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Ty and I finally have our lives together, and here is the other shoe. A perfectly manicured bombshell. It’s not that he’s cheated before, not on me at least, but I get the feeling he’s done it. To other girls. I don’t want to fall into that category.

  “Oh you know, just thought I’d come visit.”

  “That’s bull and you know it. What happened, Julie?”

  “Well, I mean… I kinda lost my apartment back home.”

  “Uh huh… what’s his name?” There’s always a guy, with her. I cross my arms, waiting for her response. Sometimes, there’s more than one.

  “Oh, it wasn’t like that, Cami, come on. I’m not some slut.”

  That determination isn’t really up to her. I love Julie, but she treats guys like garbage. Hopping from one to the next with no interest in their feelings. It’s pretty sad.

  She sighs. “Fine, Louie. He was nice and all, but God, Cami, he wanted to get married and some shit. I can’t be held down by some loser. That’s not me.” And there it is—nice guys always finish last with Julie.

  “So what’s your plan? Show up here to crash with me?”

  “Yeah, if that’s ok.” She puts up her hands. “Just for a little while. I mean, I’ll get to spend some time with you guys. It’ll be great, a couple weeks to get me back on my feet.”

  I shake my head, but I know I can’t say no—you don’t say no to family. “Fine.”

  She’s all bubbly and excited as I text Ty.

  My cousin Julie has to stay here for a little while. Sorry.

  He doesn’t text me back, must be busy at work. He finally found a job that pays well and suits him. He’s an electrical apprentice with a big commercial business. It means he travels a lot with the company to jobs, but everything is taken care of. His food, hotel, everything. And he’s working twelve hour shifts so he can be home with us more.

  Julie sits down as I make some tea. Luckily, Ella is at preschool, so we’re not interrupted. We chat about our lives for a while before I hear Ty’s truck pull up. She and I walk outside to greet him. I don’t want him feeling like she’s already taken over. Even though our living room looks like it. Her coat on one chair, purse on another, cell phone plugged into the wall. She has more stuff than our toddler.

  “I take it you're Julie,” he says, stepping out of his truck, clearly trying to avert his eyes away from her chest.

  “Yep, this is me,” she says with a giggle and tucks her hair behind her ear coyly.

  Ty smiles and looks at me. “Umm… do you have stuff?”

  “Yeah! It’s in my car.”

  I watch intently as she bends over to pull out a box and a suitcase, which Ty takes from her.

  “Well, we better get all this stuff inside,” he says, lugging it through our open door.

  They walk in, and I stand there in the doorway with my arms crossed. Drawing in a slow breath, I shake my head and close the door behind me. No matter what I try to do, I can't shake the green-eyed monster within. The way they talk, shamelessly flirting with each other, pisses me off. It’s like I no longer exist.

  “Cami? What's wrong?” Ty asks, coming up behind me and rubbing my shoulders.

  “Nothing,” I reply, virtually through my teeth. He pulls me into him, hugging me tightly. I smile as his warmth encompasses me. After we have dinner together, I excuse myself to put Ella to bed. She already loves Julie, who’s read her about six stories and braided her hair. I try to let go of the nagging feeling that won’t leave me and have a good evening catching up with Julie, but soon, a terrible headache creeps up, and I use the excuse to head to bed. It’s already after midnight and I fully expect Ty to follow after me shortly. I fall asleep as soon as I crawl under the sheets.

  Rolling over in bed, hours later, I realize I'm still alone. The coldness of his side of the bed jars me to full consciousness. Getting up to use the restroom, I hear laughter coming from the front of the house. My urge to pee is forgotten as I scamper down the hallway.

  A terrible thought crosses my mind, “No,” I whisper to myself as I round the corner to the living room.

  Ty and Julie are sitting on the couch, talking. The more I observe, the more I realize just how close they are. Ty is sitting there in his pajama pants, shirtles
s, while Julie is in shorts and a tank top that leaves nothing to the imagination. I clear my throat as I walk towards them and they both jump up.

  “Sorry, I woke up and realized you weren't there. I thought something might be wrong, but clearly it's not,” I say turning to go back to bed.

  I check on Ella before going back to my room, but she’s sleeping soundly, as if our family isn’t falling apart in the living room. I'm angry as I crawl back in bed. Every possible scenario plays out in my head while I lay there, staring into the darkness. The bedroom door creaks open and I turn over, facing the wall. Ty climbs into bed and snuggles up to me. Laying there limply, I make no effort to reciprocate. He kisses my temple and pulls me closer.

  “Cam,” he whispers. I don't respond, because if I do, he’ll hear the hurt in my voice. “I love you,” he says and kisses my cheek.

  Laying there in the darkness, I listen to the slow rhythm of his breathing before sleep finally finds me once again.

  10

  Jett

  It takes me three days to gather the courage to go to the clubhouse. I need something in my life, and if Wilson says that this can be that something for me, I'm going to take advantage. I ride Lucy through the windy streets until finally, I end up in a shadier side of town where there are weeds springing up from between the asphalt. I pull up to a brick building with at least six bikes sitting out front called Brotherhood Bar and Billiards. The door’s wide open and there's a neon sign flashing in the front window telling me that they’re open. I doubt many people stop by here that aren’t part of the brotherhood—it doesn't seem like a place that you would just pop in for a drink. But that's not what I'm here for either. I'm here to find my place.