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  It was comfortable, and I didn’t care what he thought of me when he got here.

  When he picked me up, he was in a crisp suit. No wrinkled lines were in sight and his black shoes were shining in the darkness of my apartment. I looked up into his eyes and he grinned down at me, then offered his arm out for me to take.

  If he hated how I looked, he showed no signs of it.

  “So? How are the kids doing at your place?” I asked as he escorted me down to his car.

  “They’re fine. I got them into bed before Paul got there.”

  “And who’s Paul?” I asked.

  “A friend of mine. Single father. His daughter goes to school with the kids.”

  “Oh. Was his daughter with him?” I asked.

  “She was. I’m sure everyone will have a fabulously late night coupled with a Saturday morning sleep-in session.”

  “Those are always nice.”

  “Especially when there’s a warm body to wake up to.”

  He grinned down at me before he opened the car door. I sat down into the seat and we drove to the restaurant in silence. The kiss we shared kept bombarding my mind, distracting me from why I was really with him. Information on the kids. Making sure they were okay.

  I had to keep them at the forefront of my mind.

  The restaurant Ryan took us to was… incredible. ‘Upscale’ didn’t even begin to describe what it truly was. I was horrendously underdressed and felt idiotic for trying to dress myself down. People were staring at me, snubbing their noses and shaking their heads.

  I pulled my cardigan tighter around my body as Ryan pulled my seat out for me.

  “I have to say, you chose an interesting outfit for a date.”

  “This isn’t a date. I’m here to talk about the kids,” I said.

  “I picked you up. I’m taking you out for food. I’ll probably try to kiss you goodnight. It’s definitely a date.”

  “Hardly,” I said flatly.

  “So, you want to know about the kids.”

  “I do, yes.”

  “They’re well. Zoey’s driving the boys crazy, but she’s my little princess so it doesn’t shock me. Benjamin’s still struggling with his history, but I think I can catch him up.”

  “You like history?” I asked.

  “I thought this was about the kids,” he said with a grin.

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head as he kept going.

  “Hunter’s a little quiet. He misses my sister, and I don’t blame him. He’s always been close to his mom and I know he’s in pain. But I got him to open up a little bit about it last night and I have a feeling he’ll talk with Paul more about it tonight.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” I asked.

  “Not really. He’ll talk when he’s ready. That’s how he’s always been. Benjamin and Zoey have no issues hashing out their problems with you on the spot, but Hunter needs time. Space to process.”

  “I know the feeling. I’m the same way.”

  “Funny, for someone who wants to talk about the kids, you sure are talking about everything else.”

  “You really are an ass, you know that?” I asked.

  “Still not about the kids,” he said with a smile.

  I leaned back into my chair and bit down on the side of my cheek. I didn’t like this. Not one bit. I debated on taking my phone out and signaling for an Uber. Or a taxi. Or anything to get me out of this situation. It was dangerous and people were staring… and the worst part was that Ryan’s foot was creeping against mine underneath the table.

  And I liked it.

  “You said you had a long day at work?”

  My eyes panned over to his as his feet rested heavily beside mine.

  “Care to talk about it?” he asked.

  I drew in a deep breath through my nose before I relented.

  “The kids were rough. I talk a lot about Valentina to wind down their school day, and with the news circulating the rumors they are, I was fielding a lot of uncomfortable questions.”

  “You talk about my sister in your classes?” he asked.

  “I do. She’s the perfect example, at least in my eyes, for how a person should be with their money. If they’re eager to make it, they should be eager to help people with it. I use her frequent donations and her success story of revamping the company as a way to teach my kids in class about how it’s possible to make money without getting wrapped up in it.”

  “I see,” he said. “What kinds of questions were they asking?”

  “I’m not sure if we should get into that,” I said. “I don’t want to upset you.”

  “It won’t. But I am curious.”

  “They were asking things like ‘is Valentia okay?’ and ‘are the rumors true?’ and ‘is she robbing her company?’.”

  “And what did you tell them?” he asked.

  “That the only person who can answer those questions is Valentina, and right now we should be trying to help her, not gossip about her.”

  I watched Ryan nod his head as his foot started to run up and down my ankle.

  The movement made me shiver and it was hard to suppress.

  “My day was pretty long as well,” Ryan said.

  “How so?” I asked.

  “Investors. They’re wondering if my sister’s ongoing… issues… will somehow tarnish my own reputation and cause our stocks to take a dip. I told them my familial issues were none of their concern and that Valentina’s reputation would only affect her company.”

  “But you don’t believe that.”

  “I don’t. My company always rises and falls in tandem with hers. It’s the price of being siblings. But I am worried.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Because she isn’t coming out and making a statement. Because she is still in the hospital. Because I have been granted temporary custody of the kids and I’m not sure if that’ll turn into full-time custody or not.”

  “Is that a possibility?”

  “It is if CPS decides to take this to court in order to deem her an unfit mother.”

  I nodded my head as Ryan’s eyes connected with mine.

  “Not the most stimulating of first date conversations, is it?” he asked.

  “It’s real. And raw. Not something I would’ve expected from you.”

  “To be honest? Your outfit is exactly what I expected of you.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Keeping the conversation to the kids? Intentionally dressing down? You’re trying to make the appearance that you don't want to be here. That you won’t enjoy yourself. You tell yourself this is for the kids, but what you don’t want to admit is that you’re doing this for yourself. You’re going out with a man you morally oppose for several reasons so you try to make yourself unappealing to him. The shark circling you in the water.”

  “Are you a shark circling me in the water?” I asked.

  “No,” he said as he leaned forward.

  His eyes were holding mine and I couldn't break the trance.

  “I’ve already got you by the leg,” he said with a whisper.

  I felt his legs trap mine between them underneath the table. But instead of wrangling out of his grasp, I allowed his heat to trickle up my leg. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as his hand reached out to take mine. His skin. It was electric. His touch was heated and his eyes were unbearable. It was like a train wreck I couldn't take my eyes off of, and the closer he got to me the more magnetized I became to him.

  “What would you like to eat, Miss Emma?”

  The dinner was bearable, at best. I was keenly aware of everyone staring at us as well as his touch against my skin. He had inched my jeans up with his toe and slid his foot out of his shoe. He was rubbing his sock against my skin. Just one barrier between himself and me. It was hard to chew. Hard to concentrate as he mindlessly rattled on about work.

  We walked out of the restaurant with our fingers intertwined, and I could see the shock in other’s eyes. />
  Oh, this wasn’t good.

  His hand drifted to me knee as he silently drove me home. His thumb kept tracing mindless circles on top of my worn-out jeans. I kept telling myself this was a one-time thing. That it wasn’t going to happen again. That I needed to be relieved we’d gotten this out of the way. Surely, he was aware of the people who were staring at him. Surely, he was embarrassed to be out with the likes of me.

  But when he escorted me to my door, there was a moment when I thought he was going to kiss me.

  “I enjoyed tonight,” Ryan said.

  “You did?” I asked.

  “Did you not?”

  “With everyone staring at us? Hardly,” I said.

  “Not their problem if they’re jealous of the beauty you possess.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “You really are terrible at dressing yourself down,” he said. “Because you still look lovely.”

  I was speechless at his words. His eyes danced between mine as he dropped my hand. He came up and cupped my cheek, his thumb running over my skin.

  Electricity rushed down my neck as my knees began to waver.

  “Have a nice evening, Miss Emma.”

  Wait… he wasn’t going to kiss me?”

  “You too, Ryan,” I said.

  Then he turned and walked away, leaving me standing at my apartment door with the ghost of his touch against my skin.

  I slammed myself into my apartment and pressed myself against the door. This was bad. Really bad. I didn’t need to be adding anything else to my life. I didn’t need to be adding anymore layers of drama to a situation that already had too many unknowns. But my lips were throbbing, and my cheek was tingling, and my skin was pulsing with desires I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in years.

  I couldn't help but want him.

  And I hated myself for it.

  Nine

  Ryan

  The sound of someone choking woke me up from a dead sleep. I furrowed my brow as my eyes popped open, but I heard it again and I went racing for the kid’s room. I threw the door open and looked straight to Benjamin’s bunk just in time to see him vomit all over himself.

  Shit.

  “Uncle Ryan?” Zoey asked.

  “Come here, princess,” I said. “How do you feel about sleeping in my bed tonight?”

  I scooped her out of her bed and raced her back into my room. Benjamin was heaving on the top bunk as I went to gather up a sleeping Hunter. He didn’t even wake up as I tucked him in next to his sister, and I kissed both of their foreheads before racing back to Benjamin. I grimaced as I grabbed him off the bunk, his body covered in spit up.

  This definitely wasn’t good.

  I looked over at the clock and groaned when I saw it ticking by half past two in the morning. I cradled a sick Benjamin against me and could feel how hot he was. I walked into the bathroom and heard him heave again, but I managed to get him into the bathtub before he got sick all over himself again.

  I turned on the water and grabbed the shower head so I could hose him off.

  I helped him peel his pajamas off, but he was a wreck. Crying. Snotty nose. Covered in puke. The apartment was beginning to reek and if I didn’t do something about cleaning it up, Zoey and Hunter would risk getting sick as well. I washed all of it down the drain before I ran a hot back for Benjamin to sit in, then I went back to the bedroom and heaved myself.

  Fuck. It stunk in there.

  I heard Benjamin coughing again and I knew what was about to happen. I went back into the bathroom and unstopped the drain so it could all wash off him again. I sprinted into my bathroom and started looking around for medications, but I didn’t have any for kids. Nothing except vitamins, some Tylenol for adults, and some fucking Zyrtec.

  And it was two thirty in the fucking morning.

  I ran back to Benjamin as Zoey and Hunter fell back asleep. I shut my door, hoping that somehow it would prevent them from getting sick. Benjamin was crying and begging for his mother and it broke my heart. That was all a boy ever wanted when he wasn’t feeling well.

  But Valentina was still in the hospital and it didn’t look like she was leaving any time soon.

  I walked into the bathroom and dried his tears. It broke my heart to see him so sick. I knew I had to get him medication and then get him to the doctor, but I couldn't leave the house to get him anything. I wasn’t sure who to call, and calling Paul meant risking getting his own daughter sick to help me.

  And then, a thought occurred.

  I tiptoed into my bedroom and grabbed my phone. Then I scrolled through my contacts. There was one other person I knew who cared about these kids like I did, and I knew Benjamin would enjoy having her around.

  I pressed Emma’s name and held the phone to my ear as I snuck back out of the room.

  “Hello?” she asked groggily.

  “Emma. It’s me.”

  “Ryan? What time is it?”

  “I need a favor.”

  “Can it not wait?” she asked.

  “Benjamin’s sick.”

  I heard her sheets shuffling in the background before a small groan left her lips.

  “What do you need?” she asked.

  “I don’t have any medicine here for him,” I said. “And I need help getting his sheets washed while he sits in the bath.”

  “What are his symptoms? I can go to the twenty-four-hour pharmacy up the road.”

  “He’s throwing up. Feverish. It looks like he hurts when he moves.”

  “Okay. I’ll pick up a few things to try and make him better along with some Pediasure he can drink. But you’ll have to make a doctor’s appointment for him if he can’t keep the medicine down. He might have brought something home from school, it happens all the time. But dehydration is the thing to be worried about,” she said.

  “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

  “Not a problem. Leave the sheets. I’ll get them cleaned. Just stay with Benjamin while he bathes until I can get there.”

  “Will do.”

  I hung up the phone and knelt by the bath as Benjamin laid his head on my shoulder. I felt terrible for him and I could already feel him trying to fall asleep again. I gave him some cool water to swish around to rinse out his mouth, and thirty minutes later there was a soft knock at my door.

  “I’ve got a surprise for you, buddy. Wanna see it?”

  “Is it Mommy?” he asked.

  “No, but it’s like Mommy,” I said. “How do you feel about Miss Emma?”

  I watched his eyes light up behind the sickness haze he was sitting in.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said.

  I rushed to the front door and ripped it open. Emma was wrapped up in a robe with her slippers on and her hair thrown up into a bun on top of her head. How she managed to be beautiful at three in the morning was fucking beyond me. She looked up at me and our eyes connected, but the moment was ruined the second Benjamin started heaving again.

  She pushed past me and ran down the hallway just before he threw up into the tub.

  “Come here, big guy,” she said as she unplugged the tub. “I hear you aren’t feeling well.”

  “I wanna cuddle,” Benjamin said.

  “Let’s get you feeling a little better with this nausea, then we can talk about it. Okay?” Emma asked.

  “Okay.”

  “I want to see if you can drink something for me. Here. It’s orange. It tastes really good.”

  I watched Emma screw open the top off a small drink and hold it to Benjamin’s lips. He grimaced at the taste to begin with, but then he started taking really big gulps. I was nervous that he’d make himself sick with drinking so much at once, but he finished the entire thing before he wrapped his arms around Emma. She reached for a towel and wiped him down, then slipped her robe from her shoulders and wrapped him up in it.

  She was wearing nothing but a spaghetti-strapped nightgown.

  With no bra.

  Fuck. This was a bad idea.

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nbsp; “Why don’t we do this? Uncle Ryan’s going to cuddle you until I can get your bed made up again. Okay? Then I’ll come out and we can cuddle for a little bit.”

  “Can we all cuddle?” Benjamin asked.

  Emma raised her gaze to me and I shrugged.

  “We’ll talk about it,” she said. “Let’s just get your bed cleaned up first. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Benjamin said.

  I picked the boy up in my arms and held him close. Then, Emma walked into the room like it was nothing. If it stunk to her, she didn’t grimace or heave herself. She was careful to roll up the sheets and I pointed her in the direction of the laundry room. She was gone for a little while, and then emerged from the hallway with a can of disinfectant in her hand I didn’t even know I had.

  “Give me five minutes,” she said.

  “Take your time.”

  I heard the can spraying in the children’s bedroom as I cradled Benjamin next to me. His fever was still raging, but he wasn’t heaving any longer. His eyes were slowly falling closed as a small pair of feet padded up behind us, and Emma reached over and placed her hand on my shoulder.

  The touch was hot, and I suppressed the shiver it rushed down my spine.

  “Any throwing up?” she asked.

  “None at all. What did you give him?”

  “Pediasure with some nausea medication mixed up in it. I hear it works wonders. Let’s get some Tylenol in him for his fever and then he can just sleep out here on the couch.”

  “The couch?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I’ve sprayed the entire room back there down with disinfectant, and it needs to sit for a few hours before being wiped off.”

  “You have to wipe it off?” I asked incredulously.

  “Wow, it’s a good thing I’m here. I’ll go get the Tylenol I picked up.”

  She came back a little while later with Tylenol for Benjamin to take. He wasn’t happy about it, but I knew it would make him feel better. Then Emma came around and sat with both of us until he fell asleep. I nestled him against a pillow and tucked him in tightly on the couch, then went and got some towels to put down around his face.