Reckless Hero (Savage Soldiers Book 5) Read online

  That boy was gone now though, and I wasn’t sure of the man now in his place.

  I was sure, however, that his presence meant trouble for me.

  CHAPTER 4

  Anna

  I was with Tucker when he got the news.

  His mom had called while we were at dinner. We’d been laughing about something stupid that I couldn’t even remember when his phone rang.

  He answered, still chuckling, his voice lighthearted and happy.

  “Hello?”

  Slowly, his smile faded and his shoulders slumped forward.

  We had been dating for over three years and I had never once seen him look like that. His brown eyes darkened until they were almost black, and he nodded slowly, listening to his mom’s voice. I couldn’t hear what she said, but I could hear the rise and fall of her voice and could tell she was in anguish.

  I watched Tucker closely, straining to hear what his mom was saying. But all I could hear were her occasional sobs. My eyes stayed glued to Tucker’s face, but he wouldn’t look at me until he ended the call.

  As he set his phone down, his eyes finally met my gaze. I reached across the table and took his hand in mine, though his fingers remained cold and limp in my grip.

  He looked like a statue, sitting there with wide eyes and a vacant expression. Deep down, I knew what the news was, but waited for him to tell me; I didn’t want to assume the worst until he actually said it.

  After several minutes, Tucker slowly shook his head.

  Our waiter came over to bring us the check. I took it and waved him away, my eyes never leaving Tucker’s face.

  I tightened my grip on his limp hand, wanting him to know I was there. I was willing to sit in that restaurant all night if he needed me to.

  Eventually, his expression changed from empty, to sad and determined, and then thunderous. His eyes hardened and he looked at me with a steely glint that made me want to turn away from him, but I refrained.

  I held his gaze and waited for him to speak. When he finally did, he only said two words that would change our entire lives.

  “He’s gone.”

  The air between us seemed to still while the rest of the world kept moving. My vision blurred around the edges, and the only solid thing I could see was Tucker. Sounds – the click and clatter for cutlery being used, laughter and incoherent conversations - became muted.

  I rubbed my thumb across the back of Tucker’s hand while he sat there, frozen.

  Suddenly, he stood, his chair scraping loudly on the floor and drawing the attention of surrounding diners. Our hands broke apart and I tried to grab him again, but he wouldn’t let me.

  “I need to get home,” he said, without looking at me. He then turned and walked out of the restaurant.

  I made to go after him, but the sight of the waiter reminded me of our bill. I quickly paid the charges before running after Tucker.

  He’d been waiting for me beside his car in the empty parking lot.

  “I’ll drive,” I said softly when I caught up with him. He was shaking and I was afraid he was too upset to drive. But when I tried to take the keys, he jerked them away from me and shook his head.

  Reluctantly, I backed off and let him climb into the driver’s seat.

  I had met Tucker’s dad plenty of times before, but he was away so often that we hadn’t gotten a chance to bond. Still, I felt his loss like a brick in my stomach and therefore couldn’t imagine how Tucker must have felt. Or how his mom would survive, for that matter.

  All I knew was that I wanted to be there for them both.

  I pulled open the car door and climbed into the passenger’s seat, determined to do whatever I could to help.

  Tucker drove quickly through town, not slowing down until he pulled into his driveway.

  He ran inside and I followed.

  Tucker’s mom was sitting at the kitchen table. Her cellphone was in front of her, but she wasn’t looking at it. Instead, she stared out of the kitchen window with silent tears streaming down her face.

  If an artist could capture the perfect image of a broken heart, Mrs. James would had been it.

  Tucker flew across the room and knelt beside his mom. Without speaking, she turned to look at him, and he held her while she cried.

  While listening to Mrs. James sniffing and sobbing, my eyes stayed glued on Tucker. He was my boyfriend and I loved him. It was his job to take care of his mom, but it was my job to take care of him.

  The only problem was I didn’t know how.

  I crossed the kitchen and set to work brewing a pot of coffee. In moments of crisis, people needed something to do with their hands, and wrapping them around a warm coffee mug seemed like a good idea.

  I made the coffee, carried three mugs to the table, and filled each one, sliding two of them toward Tucker and his mom.

  “Thank you, Anna,” Mrs. James said weakly, although she didn’t touch the coffee. My feelings weren’t hurt though, for I hadn’t expected her to drink it in the first place.

  When she finally pulled away from Tucker, his eyes were still dry. His face was set hard, not a single sign of pain or weakness to be found. I knew he was putting on a good face for his mom, but I wasn’t sure how long it would last. All I knew was that I wanted to be there when he broke so that I could help him through it.

  “Why don’t you go home?” Tucker said to me, though not unkindly. He didn’t exactly sound kind though either. His words were simply firm. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “I can stay,” I said. “I don’t mind.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “We’re fine.”

  “But-”

  “Go home, Anna,” he said, cutting me off. His voice turned hard. “I don’t need you here.”

  I flinched as if he had stricken me, stunned by his sudden impatience. He had never spoken to me like that before.

  “We’ll talk in the morning,” he continued, without looking at me. He then turned back to his mom.

  I hesitated, not knowing what to do or say. “Okay,” I eventually choked out and nodded, although his back faced me.

  I stood and took a few reluctant steps toward the front door. Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew better than to start an argument with Tucker at such a moment. He was going through enough, and I loved him enough to give him the space he needed even though it broke my heart.

  The following morning, he never called.

  ***

  The funeral was hard.

  Savage’s one and only church was positioned in the center of town and it was packed that day. People crammed themselves into the pews and when those were full, they stood against the walls. The doors remained open throughout the service so that more people could listen from outside.

  I sat with Tucker and his mom in the front row, holding Tucker’s hand while the preacher spoke about Mr. James. He went on and on about Aaron James being a war hero and his medals and accomplishments were listed in chronological order.

  Everyone murmured their appreciation. I nodded along with them, but couldn’t bring myself to speak. My tongue felt like it was cemented to the roof of my mouth and I knew if I forced it free, I would start crying.

  The last thing Tucker needed was to feel like he had to take care of me; he had his hands full with his mom already.

  When the service ended, everyone moved along to the burial.

  I forced myself to hold it together while we traveled to the cemetery. As Mrs. James was handed a folded flag, she succumbed again to violent sobs. Tucker held her tightly while I silently stood beside them.

  For a week, I tried everything I could to be there for Tucker. Yet, he never wanted to talk. And even when I was content to just sit silently with him, he would tell me to leave.

  Whenever I brought him food, he wouldn’t eat it.

  No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough for him to let me in. I felt useless and devoid of hope, but I pushed on, knowing he needed me, even if he wouldn’t say it.

/>   As the funeral ended, the guests began to file out of the cemetery, Tucker and I watched them get into their cars and drive away. There was going to be a wake at Tucker’s house, but he wasn’t in any hurry to get there.

  Mrs. James had left with her sister, leaving Tucker and I alone at the gravesite. I held his hand tightly while he stared at his father’s casket. When I glanced at him, I saw that he had finally succumbed to his tears.

  He cried silently as the cemetery personnel lowered his father into the ground. They’d told us we didn’t have to stay for that part, but Tucker wouldn’t move, so neither did I.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly.

  “No,” he said, impatiently wiping away tears, “but, there is something I need to tell you.”

  “Okay.” I frowned, confused and unable to imagine what was so important that he needed to tell me right then and there after his father’s funeral.

  When he spoke, his voice was void of any emotion. “After graduation, I’m leaving for basic training.”

  I blinked, dumbfounded. “What?”

  “I enlisted in the army. I’m becoming a Savage Soldier,” he explained.

  “But what about law school?” With the tempest of thoughts whirling around my head, it was the first one I could grasp clearly. Still, I couldn’t believe what he was saying. His father had just died, and now he was leaving? We were set to graduate in December, and he was leaving. Joining the Savage Soldiers.

  Going off to a war his father had just become a causality of.

  “I’m not going to law school,” he answered simply.

  “But it’s your dream.”

  “Dreams change.” He watched as they poured dirt over his father’s casket. I followed his gaze, not wanting to look into his emotionless face any longer.

  Deep down though, I knew why he was doing this. His father had died in combat, so Tucker thought enlisting was the best way to honor his memory. I understood, but I didn’t agree.

  In all the time I’d known Tucker, he had never once mentioned joining the military. In fact, he used to complain about how often his father was away from home.

  “He’s never around, but we’re supposed to be okay with it because he’s a war hero,” he would say scornfully.

  “When do you leave exactly?” I asked, speaking around the lump in my throat that I had unsuccessfully tried to swallow down. I had spent the past week trying to stay strong, but my repressed tears were finally threatening to escape now.

  When minutes passed without him speaking, I grabbed his hand. “Tucker, please talk to me. This is a big decision. We should sit down and properly think this through. I don’t-”

  “There is nothing to discuss,” he said, shaking off my hold. I almost stepped back, the cold fury in his eyes hitting me like a whip. “It’s my decision.”

  “And what about us?” Anger leaked into my tone. “What does your decision mean for us?”

  He didn’t respond, but I could clearly feel him pulling further away from me.

  “Please don’t do this, Tucker,” I pleaded. “Don’t shut me out like this. I love you. I only want to be here for you.”

  I reached for his hand again, but he stepped back.

  “We should go,” he said. “They’ll be expecting us at the house.”

  He turned and walked to the car without another word. Frozen, I watched him go, wondering if he’d heard my question, or if he even cared.

  He climbed into the car and started the engine. When I finally followed him, I felt like he was already gone.

  Days later, he really was.

  CHAPTER 5

  Tucker

  My first day of classes was easy, just as I’d expected.

  I only had one class first thing in the morning and when I got there, I’d staked out the best seat I could find.

  Unlike my first day of undergrad, I hadn’t felt the need to be in the front row. I was mature enough to know now that as long as I paid attention, my seat placement didn’t matter.

  After getting settled, I observed as the other students began to arrive. They all looked so young, clearly fresh out of their undergrad studies. I’d spent four years in the army, so naturally, I was older than the bulk of them. I just didn’t expect to actually look so much older than them.

  My hair had grown. I had previously kept it short, per army requirements. But the second I’d left, I let it grow again. I had always loved my hair long, so spending four years with a buzz cut had been awful.

  My hair wasn’t the only thing that set me apart though. All the men were clean shaven with baby faces. Meanwhile, my stubble was thicker by noon than theirs would be in a whole week.

  I shook my head and tried to tell myself that no one cared. It didn’t matter that I was older than the rest of the students. As long as I scored well, nothing else mattered.

  Class ended quickly, and I left with pages full of notes. There was a commotion in the back of the room and I just barely caught a glimpse of a female student dashing out. Something about her was vaguely familiar, but she was gone before I could figure it out.

  I shrugged it off, figuring I would come face-to-face with whoever she was soon enough. The class was so small that it wouldn’t take long before everyone knew everyone else.

  I went back to my new apartment and studied both my notes and textbooks, already determined to get ahead.

  I’d waited too long to fulfill my dream of becoming a lawyer. Law school was the first step to making that dream a reality, and I refused to fail.

  The next day, I had two afternoon classes, but my morning was free. I decided to spend the morning on campus anyway though. There were paths leading into the woods that I hadn’t gotten a chance to explore during orientation. I loved nature and figured it would be nice to go on a hike.

  I got to campus first thing in the morning and bought myself a bottle of water. With my backpack thrown over my shoulders, I set off for the woods.

  My path began behind the library. It was surrounded by small bushes, but I could still see classroom buildings all around me.

  I picked up my speed, wanting to put civilization behind me for a few hours. The deeper I walked into the woods, the taller the trees became. A few minutes later, I was surrounded by them.

  I smiled and slowed my pace. Now that I was away from the buildings, I could pretend like I wasn’t on campus and focus exclusively on the sounds and smells around me. I breathed in the trees and ran my hands over their trunks. After a mile of walking in peaceful silence, I pulled out my water bottle and took a long sip.

  My pace was steady, not too slow or too fast. I still had a few hours before class, so I wanted to enjoy the free time because I knew my workload would ultimately get heavy and I wouldn’t have anytime to myself. I’d be confined to libraries and eventually stuck in a courtroom every day for months. I was beyond excited about it, but I wanted to breathe in some fresh air while I still could.

  I didn’t know where the path I was on led, but I was eager to find out. I walked a little quicker, noticing that the trees beginning to thin again. The path curved upward and I felt my legs stiffen at the incline. I pushed forward and soon my muscles relaxed back into a comfortable pace. It wasn’t long before the slope evened out. I stepped around a huge oak tree and looked around.

  I was standing in the middle of a clearing with trees on either side of me. In front of me, there wasn’t anything but open space. The grass was so green that it was almost blinding in the sunlight. I looked at the sky. It was gorgeous blue without a single cloud in sight.

  I grinned and walked farther into the clearing.

  God, how I had missed the States.

  As I moved though, I noticed it wasn’t just a clearing; there was a steep drop on the far edge.

  I walked up to the cliff and looked down. The rocky slope beneath me was much too steep for climbing, but out farther was an endless array of beau
ty. Trees and flowers filled the left, and there was a small lake directly below. Off to the right, I could see tiny buildings, though I was too high up to tell if they were office buildings or apartments.

  Regardless, the view was amazing. I could have stood there enjoying it all day, but I didn’t have the time.

  Pulling my water from my backpack, I took another drink before turning back around and heading to the other side of the clearing. The sun was rising higher in the sky as noon approached, meaning it was almost time for my first class. So I glanced at the clearing one last time before setting off back down the path.

  A few feet past the clearing, I ran into a couple hikers. I nodded politely and let them pass, quickly gathering that this was a popular spot. I had simply gotten there early before most hikers had started arriving.

  As I walked back down the hill, more and more people passed by me, though I paid little attention to them, my concentration being on maneuvering down the path without tripping.

  Yet, when I heard a familiar voice in front of me, I froze, my body tensing and my ears perking up. Disbelief washed over me.

  There was no way it was her…

  I looked up and my eyes widen.

  Holy shit.

  She was walking toward me.

  She hadn’t yet noticed me, her eyes focused on the ground while she animatedly talked to a man beside her.

  I squinted in the sunlight, trying to take in his face. He looked oddly familiar, but I couldn’t place him.

  Her, on the other hand, I would have known anywhere.

  “Anna,” I said loudly, without thinking—something that was rare for me these days due to my military training. But whenever I saw Anna, my impulses took over. I hadn’t even known what I wanted going to say. I just knew I couldn’t let pass her without saying something.

  Without seeing those beautiful grey eyes…

  She jumped at the sound of her name and looked over at me with wide eyes. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but I could tell it was longer than I remembered. She wore the same glasses on her face and her eyes looked exactly the same—grey with a hint of blue.