Commando (Rogue Rebels MC Book 1) Page 15

  He didn’t call in the morning like he promised.

  ***

  The funeral was hard.

  Bradberry’s one and only church was positioned in the center of town and it was packed that day. People crammed themselves into the pews and when those were full, they stood against the walls. The doors remained open throughout the service so more people could listen from outside.

  I sat with Wyatt and his mom in the front row. I held Wyatt’s hand while the preacher spoke about Mr. Murphy’s attributes. He went on and on about Anderson Murphy being a war hero. His medals and accomplishments were listed in chronological order and everyone murmured their appreciation.

  I nodded along with them, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. My tongue felt like it was cemented to the roof of my mouth. I knew if I forced it free, I would start to cry. The last thing Wyatt needed was to feel like he needed to take care of me too.

  He had his hands full with his mom. He didn’t need to take care of anyone else.

  The service ended and everyone moved along to the burial.

  I forced myself to hold it together while we traveled to the cemetery. Mrs. Murphy was handed a folded flag, and she succumbed yet again to violent sobs. Wyatt held her tightly and I stood beside them, silent as ever.

  For a week, I tried everything I could, to be there for Wyatt.

  I asked him if he wanted to talk, he didn’t.

  When I sat with him in silence, he told me to leave.

  I brought food but he didn’t eat it.

  No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough for him to let me in. I felt useless and devoid of hope, but I pushed on. I knew Wyatt needed me, even if he couldn’t say it. I promised myself I would be there, silent and ready whenever he finally came to me.

  He never did.

  As the funeral ended, the guests began to file out of the cemetery. Wyatt and I watched while they all got into their cars and drove away. There was going to be a wake at Wyatt’s house, but he wasn’t in any hurry to get there. Mrs. Murphy left with her sister, leaving Wyatt and I alone at the gravesite.

  I held Wyatt’s hand tightly. He stared at his father’s casket without speaking. I glanced over at him and was surprised to see he had finally succumbed to tears.

  He was crying silently while the cemetery personnel lowered his father into the ground. They told us we didn’t have to stay for that part, but Wyatt didn’t move so I didn’t either.

  I wrapped my arms around Wyatt’s waist and rested my head against his arm.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly.

  “No,” Wyatt said. He wiped away the tears impatiently and turned to face me. “But, there is something I need to tell you.”

  “Okay,” I said with a frown. I couldn’t imagine what was so important that he needed to tell me then, right after his father’s funeral.

  “After graduation, I’m leaving for basic training,” Wyatt said.

  His voice was even, devoid of any emotion.

  “What?” I blinked, doing a good imitation of an owl.

  I had heard him wrong. There was no way…

  “I enlisted in the Army,” he explained. “With my undergrad degree, I can be a medic. Not a doctor, but a medic.”

  “What about medical school?” I asked blankly.

  With tempest of thoughts whirling around my head, it was the first one I could grasp clearly.

  I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was leaving. His father just died. We were set to graduate in December and he was leaving. Joining the Army. Going off to a war his father had just become a causality of.

  “I’m not going,” he answered simply.

  “But it’s your dream,” I said lamely.

  “Dreams change,” he said. He looked away from me and watched while they poured dirt over his father’s casket. I followed his gaze, not wanting to look into his emotionless face any longer.

  I didn’t know what this meant for him, or for us. Would we stay together? How long would he be gone? Why was he doing this?

  Deep down, I knew why. His father died in combat. Wyatt thought enlisting was the best way to honor his memory. I understood it. I followed his thinking easily, but I didn’t agree with it.

  From the time I met Wyatt, his dream had been to become a doctor. He never once mentioned joining the military. In fact, he used to complain about how often his father was away from home.

  “He’s never around, but we’re supposed to be okay with it because he’s a war hero,” he would say scornfully.

  I knew he didn’t mean it. He just missed his dad and wanted him around more, but it still knocked the wind of me to find out he was following in his father’s footsteps.

  “When do you leave exactly?” I asked. There was a lump in my throat and I tried to swallow it down, but I couldn’t. I spent the past week trying to stay strong, but I felt the repressed tears finally threatening to escape.

  When long minutes passed without him speaking, I grabbed his hand.

  “Wyatt, please talk to me. This is a big decision. We should sit down and properly think this through. I don’t-”

  Shaking off my hold, he looked back at me. I almost stepped back, the cold fury in his eyes hitting me like a whip.

  “There is nothing to discuss. It is my decision,” he hissed between his teeth.

  Anger leaked into my tone. “And what about us? What does your decision mean for us?”

  The wind picked up and threw my words around us.

  I had tried to be understanding but him shutting me out like this was unacceptable. This hurt.

  He didn’t say anything but I felt him pull away from me even more.

  “Please don’t do this, Wyatt. Don’t shut me out like this. I love you. I only want to be here for you.”

  My tone was gentler this time, my anger falling away as quickly as it came.

  I reached for his hand again.

  He stepped back.

  “We should go,” he said suddenly. “They’ll be expecting us at the house.”

  He turned and walked to the car without another word. I watched him go, wondering if he even heard my question or if he cared. I watched while he climbed into the car and started the engine. My feet wouldn’t move. My entire body was in shock.

  When I finally followed him, I felt like he was already gone.

  Days later, he really was.

  Chapter Five: Wyatt

  My first day of classes was fucking easy. Just as expected.

  I only had one class first thing in the morning. I got there and staked out the best seat I could find.

  Unlike my first day of undergrad, I didn’t want to be in the front row. I didn’t need to be. I had real experiences to fall back on now. As the other med students began to arrive, I looked around at each of their faces.

  They all looked young, much younger than me.

  I knew most of them were fresh out of undergrad. I spent four years in the Army, so it was only natural that I would feel older than them.

  What I didn’t expect was how much older I looked. My hair was finally growing out again. I had kept it short as per Army requirements, but the second I was out I let it grow. I loved my hair long, I always had. Spending four years with a buzz cut was awful.

  My hair wasn’t the only thing that set me apart.

  All the men were clean shaven with baby faces. My stubble was thicker by noon than theirs would be in a week. I shook my head and tried to tell myself no one cared. It didn’t matter that I was older than the rest of the students. As long as I scored well, none of it mattered.

  Class ended quickly and I left with pages full of notes. There was a commotion in the back of the class and I just barely caught a glimpse of another female student dashing out of the class.

  Something about her was vaguely familiar but she was gone before I could figure it out.

  I shrugged.

  I would come face to face with the student soon enough. The class size meant everyone woul
d know everyone before too long. Kind of reminded me of home,

  I went back to my new apartment and studied both my notes and my textbooks. I was determined to get ahead quickly.

  I waited too long to fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor. After working as a medic, I only wanted it more. Medical school was the first step to making that dream a reality and I refused to fail. This was my new mission.

  The next day, I had two classes in the afternoon, but my morning was free.

  I decided to spend the morning on campus because there were paths that led into the woods. I hadn’t really gotten a chance to look around during orientation, but I loved nature and it had been a long time since I had been on a hike.

  I got to campus first thing in the morning and bought myself a bottle of water. With my backpack thrown over my shoulders, I set off through the woods.

  My path began behind the library. It was surrounded by small bushes, but I could still see classroom buildings all around me.

  I walked faster, wanting to put civilization behind me for a few hours. As I walked deeper into the woods, the trees grew steadily taller. After a few minutes, I was surrounded by them. I smiled to myself and slowed my pace.

  Now that I was away from the buildings, I could pretend like I wasn’t on campus. I could focus on the sounds and smells of nature without even remembering my classroom buildings were just a few miles away.

  I breathed in the smell of the trees and ran my hands over the trunks. After about a mile of walking in peaceful silence, I pulled out my water bottle and took a long sip.

  My pace was natural, not too slow or too fast. I had a few hours before I needed to be in class and I wanted to enjoy this rare moment of free time. I knew that the workload would only get crazier as time went on.

  Soon, I wouldn’t have anytime to myself. I would be confined to libraries and laboratories. Then, when clinicals began I would be stuck in the hospital every day for months. I was beyond excited about it, but I wanted to breathe in the fresh air while I still could.

  I didn’t know where the path led, but I was eager to find out. I walked a little quicker, noticing that the trees were beginning to thin again. The path curved upward and I felt my legs stiffen at the incline. I pushed forward and soon my muscles relaxed back into a comfortable pace. It wasn’t long before the slope evened out. I stepped around a huge oak tree and looked around.

  I was standing in the middle of a clearing with trees on either side of me. In front of me, there wasn’t anything but open space. The grass was so green that it was almost blinding in the sunlight. I looked at the sky. It was a gorgeous blue without a cloud in sight. I grinned and walked further into the clearing.

  God, I had missed the States.

  As I moved, I noticed it wasn’t just a clearing. On the far edge was a steep drop. I walked up to the cliff and looked down. There was a rocky slope beneath me that was much too steep for climbing, but out further was an endless array of beauty.

  There were trees and flowers to the left with a small lake directly below me. Off to the right, I could see tiny buildings. I wasn’t sure if they were office buildings or apartments, I was too high up to tell. Damn, the view was amazing. I could have stood there enjoying it all day, but I knew I didn’t have the time.

  Pulling my water from my backpack, I took another drink before I turned back around and headed to the other side of the clearing. The sun was rising ever high in the sky and my first class was at noon. I couldn’t afford to miss it so I glanced at the clearing one last time before I set off back down the path.

  A few feet past the clearing, I ran into a couple of hikers. I nodded politely and let them pass. It wasn’t long before I realized this was a popular spot. I got there early, so not many hikers had arrived yet. As I walked back down the hill, more and more people passed by me.

  I wasn’t paying close attention to each face as I walked. I was focused on maneuvering down the path without tripping or running into someone.

  When I heard a familiar voice in front of me, I was sure I had heard wrong.

  I froze, body tense and ears perking up.

  Disbelief was a living thing in my body.

  There was no way it was her.

  I looked up quickly and felt my eyes widen. Holy shit.

  She was walking toward me.

  She hadn’t yet noticed me. Her eyes were focused on the ground and she was talking animatedly to a man.

  He walked beside her and I squinted in the sunlight. He looked oddly familiar as well, but I couldn’t place him. Her, on the other hand, I would have known anywhere.

  “Hailey,” I said loudly, raising my hand over my head.

  A few people turned their head at my loud call.

  I didn’t think about my action. That in itself was unusual.

  I had learned to be a very methodical and precise person in the last few years. The military did that to its officers. I learned to think every step through before doing acting on it unless a life or death situation activated my instincts.

  Seeing Hailey, I just reacted. There was no rhyme or reason. There was just a burst of all-consuming emotion that let impulse rule.

  I was back to my old self.

  Seeing her made it impossible not to react.

  I didn’t know what I was going to say to Hailey. I just knew I couldn’t let pass her without saying something. Without seeing those beautiful grey eyes look into mine.

  She jumped at the sound of her name and looked over at me with wide eyes. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but I could tell it was longer than I remembered. She wore the same glasses on her face and her eyes looked exactly the same: grey with a hint of blue. I walked over to her slowly, letting her shock wear off.

  When I approached her, her eyes roamed over my face like she couldn’t quite believe it was me.

  “Hi,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

  My voice sounded breathless, like I had just sprinted a mile. But it was the sight of her that had adrenaline flowing through my veins.

  “I go to school here,” she said.

  Her words were slow and reluctant.

  “Really?” I asked. “Wow. I didn’t even know you were still in the area.”

  “I could say the same about you,” Hailey said. Her voice was becoming more guarded with every passing second and her eyes watched me carefully.

  I knew she was sizing me up. I could tell she was nervous. My heart was beating faster by the second, but I couldn’t let her know that.

  “I just got back a few months ago,” I said. “My tour ended so I moved back home.”

  “With your mom?” Hailey asked. “How’s she doing?”

  When she asked about my mom, her voice softened.

  “She’s okay,” I said. “Doing a lot better. It’s been five years now, so…”

  I trailed off, not wanting to talk about my father. This wasn’t the way my conversation with Hailey was supposed to go. We were not supposed to talk about my dead dad or my depressed mom.

  She was supposed to see me and be overwhelmed with how good I looked, or want to get together like we used to. My confidence was supposed to attract her like it did all those years ago.

  All those nights in Iraq let me believe she would welcome me with that soft smile she reserved just for me back then. The one that told me I was the only man she saw in the world.

  Damn, you’re still so whipped over this girl, a voice taunted from deep inside my head.

  I couldn’t deny it.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I remember.”

  “So,” I said, quickly changing the subject. “Who’s this? New boyfriend?”

  I directed my attention to the man beside her. I extended my hand for him to shake, rising up to seem taller than I was.

  I hoped my tone didn’t convey the rising anger that made my blood boil at the thought she was taken by another man.

  It would hardly make a good impression to her if I pummeled the guy into the ground not mat
ter how much I wanted to.

  Instead of giving into that impulse, I pasted a smile on my face. It was all teeth, I was sure, but it was the best I could manage.

  “No,” Hailey laughed. “This is Joe. My brother.”

  “Joe?” I blinked and stared at the man again.

  He looked nothing like the scrawny kid I once knew. He had grown at least a foot and his face was covered in a thick, dark beard.

  “Wyatt,” Joe said, shaking my hand.

  Well, shaking hands may had been an exaggeration with the pressure he tried to apply to my fingers. I returned the pressure and the terse connection ended quickly when Hailey raised an eyebrow at the obvious show of testosterone between us.

  Joe nodded once before he looked away.

  “Man,” I said, my tone still friendly despite the awkward handshake. “You look completely different.”

  “Five years will do that,” Joe said sharply.

  He didn’t bother to meet my eyes. He didn’t make it a secret he wasn’t happy to see me. I watched him for a second before I turned my attention back to Hailey.

  I stood up even taller and smiled my best smile. Pushing my hair out of my eyes, I looked into her hers deeply and took a step forward.

  “It’s really great to see you again,” I said softly.

  Hailey cleared her throat and shifted awkwardly. She looked down at her feet.

  “Do you think we could get together and catch up? Maybe talk over coffee or something?” I still asked even though her body language was screaming back off. I had to try.

  Hailey looked up at me with an expression I didn’t recognize. She didn’t answer. I stepped closer to her again and watched her closely. I knew she wanted to see me again. I could tell by the way her eyes were roaming around nervously. I still made her nervous. Good.

  Nervous was an emotion I could work with. It let me know she still felt something for me.

  “Hailey, your class is about to start,” Joe said loudly. “You should probably get going.”

  “Right,” Hailey said, shaking her head. The spell that began to build between us was broken abruptly.

  She flashed Joe a grateful look. “I’m sorry, Wyatt. I can’t. I’m just really busy with classes right now.”

  “Me too,” I said quickly. Hailey took a step away from me like she was going to leave, but I blocked her path. “Come on, you know you want to. Just coffee. We can meet somewhere on campus.”